Who Hates Gilderoy Lockhart?
by Spidey meets Wizard-Theif
Summary: DISCONTINUED BUT UP FOR ADOPTION Fred, George, and someone else pull pranks on Lockhart and see that the results are not what you would think.
1. Who Hates Lockhart?

**Author's note:I DID REDO THIS CHAPTER! This account is owned by two people but this story is written by one person. It is written by Wizard-Theif or as Spidey (who is scared of spiders) calls me Wizzie, you may use either. This is my first Fanfiction by myself. Please don't let this info hold back what you really think about this Fanfic. Please be truthful. Or else you may learn that I'm not called Wizard-theif for nothing. I earned it. See bottom closing note. Hope you like the story. Thank you Spidey, Mossnose, Miss bossy-boots(How it pains me to say it) and me!**

_**This is for all the Lockhart haters and if you like Lockhart (why do you?) why on Earth (or in the universe) are you reading this?**_

_Disclaimer: I'm not J.K.Rowling because if I was Gilderoy Lockhart would have gotten hit with something worse than a memory-erasering charm (he would have gotten killed if I was able) and I own nothing except Diana Stealer. I don't own Captain Underpants either. Boo Hoo and I am insane Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah_

_ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha_

_hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!_

"I see that you've all brought a complete set of my books-well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about-just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in..." Said Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of the Idiot, First Class, Unhonorary Member of the Dark Defense League and infinity times winner of the Witch Weekly Most Idiotic Moron Award.

When he had handed out the test papers he returned the front of the class and said,"You have thirty minutes. Start-now."

This is what one Miss Diana Stealer wrote/thought.

For question 1: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's Favourite Colour? He can see colours I thought his teeth blinded him. Hmmm, I think I'll put down … brown, the colour of poop.

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition… hmm? Ooh! OOH! I KNOW THIS ONE! It's himself .

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatness achievement to date? This could be hard. Hmmm… I guess learning to walk and talk.

4. How did Gilderoy Lockhart get rid of the Bandon banshee? How should I know I didn't read the books!! He must have smiled at her and she disappeared/ran away from his very horrible teeth that were unclean with spinach stuck in his …dun dun dunnnnn… braces. Hahaha

5. Where does Gilderoy Lockhart spend his summer holidays? Uh…In his mother's basement reading Captain Underpantswhile modeling after him….. IN HIS UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh…. Creepy vision, creepy vision.

6. What is the most recent book Gilderoy Lockhart has written? Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide To Life When You Live In Your Mother's Basement while reading Captain Underpants in your underpants. It's the only thing he could write. I think…

7. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's best feature? Uhhh… His face now that it's mangled or will be. Muahahahaha Cough… cough.

8. What is Gilderoy Lockhart favourite song? Easy very easy. He has four: the Barney Theme Song, the song he learned in therapy A.K.A I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty, It A Small World After All, and I Too Sexy. Creepy again. Be gone I don't believe in you!!!

9. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's best book? Do I have to answer this? Her concince: Yes you do! Ah man!! OK… His autobiography- The Moron Inside.

10. Where did Gilderoy Lockhart get his first big break? You mean break as in nose or job? In the Daily Prophet when he wrote an article on the magical properties of poop.

11. What is Gilderoy Lockhart favourite hobby? Scooping up poop and shopping Yes, dare I say it shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also looking in the mirrors. Vain Git!!

12. What do you think about Gilderoy Lockhart? Does he really what to know?? Well he asked for it. He is an airheaded, pigheaded, moronic git. Who deserves to be tortured in the most horrible ways.

13. What other Gilderoy Lockhart books have you read that weren't on the book list? Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide To household Pests only because my mom made me) I wonder if it will work on Lockhart. Santa, that is what I want for christmas…or halloween… or Hanukkah… or any holiday! For it too work on Lockhart. Please work please, I'm begging!!

I sure hope Lockhart can take a joke. Santa, Save me.

**Author's note: In regards to this "**_Or else you may learn that I'm not called Wizard-theif for nothing. I earned it._**" I borrowed Spidey's hat many times I have never stolen anything else in my life. I just borrowed Spidey's hat for a few seconds to test her. She failed every time so far. Get it?? Got it?? Good.**

**Also My ear hurts 'cause I was talking on the phone with Spidey, while typing this story from No.5 to No.11.** **It took forever. Happy???**

**Please Review... or my friend will visit you. Just kidding... or am I? Yay I sounded like Cosmo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Yes, I did just copied this out of the second book but I did say "I own nothing.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**And if you have some Ideas do tell.**


	2. How could things be worse?

**Author's Note: I got it, no more author's notes during the story so you can all stop it now. Thank you to everyone for being honest and for reviewing. Diana is in Gryffindor, forgot to say that last chapter. I need new characters and prank ideas so if you have any ideas please tell me. And if you have a character, don't forget what house they will be in and what year.**

_Disclaimer:I own Diana Stealer and the plot, that is all._

Diana Stealer ended her test with question

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal birthday gift be?

A: No clue when and the gift would be a Kwikspell course on holding a wand.

"Time is up. Accio tests." Said Lockhart as he tried and failed to summon the papers, as all the papers stayed put, proving Diana's point about the course. So Lockhart tried Plan B, be like the muggle teachers, walk to the desks and collect the papers. When he had collected the tests, he returned to the front of the class and rifled though them saying,"Tut, tut- hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti."

"More like Year of the Borrring." Dean said to Seamus.

"And a few more of you need to read Wanderings With Werewolves more carefully", Continued Lockhart as if he hadn't heard Dean's remark," I clearly state in chapter 12 that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic people-though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogen's Old Firewhisky." And so on.

By the time he got to number 53, Ron was staring at Lockhart with a expression of disbelief face; Seamus and Dean, at the front of the class, were shaking with silent laugher. Diana was trying to figure out what was the best jinx to use on Lockhart without being caught; Harry was still hiding behind his books and the rest of the class (except some of Lockhart's more loyal fans) had been chatting since question 10 (the more loyal fans started chatting at question 20.) Hermione was one and possibly only person left listening to Lockhart with rapt attention and gave a start when he mentioned her name.

"But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is..."

"Himself." Said Diana under her breath

"To rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions-good girl. Where is Miss Granger?"

Hermione raised her hand.

"Excellent! Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so on to business..." said Lockhart as he leaned over his desk to lift up a cage. Since everyone knows what happens from the movie and the book (if you read them) I will skip to the corridor after the lesson.

"That Lockhart really doesn't know what he is doing! Why did Dumblebore pick him to teach us?!" Diana whispered to herself after the OVERLY-ACTION-PACKED lesson.

"That's what we want to know." said two Gryffindor 4th years walking up behind Diana.

"Sorry, who are you?"

"Right we haven't introduced ourselves, I'm Forge and his Gred." said one of the redheaded twins.

"Oy, Fred, George. Come over here." said a boy with dreadlocks.

"Duty calls. Coming Lee." said Fred as he turned to Lee, at least Diana thought it was Fred.

"We'll talk more in the Gryffindor tower. See ya..."

"Diana Stealer."

"See ya, Diana." Said the person Diana assumed was George, as he ran after his twin.

The rest of Diana's lessons were the usual so she really looked forward to what Fred & George had planed.

**Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter. Testing out the my new battle plan and writing technique. Some of you may know what it is so I hope you like it. I won't be writing for a while 'cause I need to get permission from someone to do something to Lockhart. Thanks for reviewing and giving me criticism. **

**See ya,**

** Wizze**

**(The nickname is shorter to type, that's the only reason why I use it.)**

**Please Review!!!!**


	3. Alert, Alert hope it's better

**ALERT, ALERT **

**I HAVE CHANGED CHAPTER 1 **

**THAT IS ALL**

**WOW THAT WAS THE SHORTEST YET**

**COOL!!!!!!!!!**


	4. The Fellowship of the Prank!

**Author's Note: Hi again and thanks for everyone reviewing soooooooooo Uh... keep reading??? The person I asked to borrow (Yes I do mean borrow not steal) their idea, hasn't replied yet so I'll have to ask again. Urg... So... What do I do now? Uh... On with the show? And sorry in advance and for not writing sooner.**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Man!! Gonna think of more creative disclaimers but all the good ones have been used. Again I own nothing that's N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!! Yay I just thought of a good disclaimer. Steals London's move from "Zack & Cody" Yay me!! Claps twice. (Cringes slightly) That was creepy and never again!!! Hope you like the story!! Blast, I forgot the disclaimer!! Bad me, bad, bad me!! Oy... That was long._

That night, in the very crowded Gryffindor common room, most of the 2nd years were discussing their new DADA teacher A.K.A Lockhart the idiot.

"Bit full of himself, that one."

"What did you put down for question number 23?"

"He's a genius! Look at his books!"

"Do you have to worship him in front of us?"

"SHUT UP!!!"

"YOU!!!"

"NO, YOU!!"

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

From the other side of the room, "Shut your trap or I will shut it for you!!"

"What was that one again?"

"Number 23 was... 'Where did Gilderoy Lockhart go to school?"

"Lockhart's not a very good teacher, is he?"

"I'm still aching from the pixies!"

Most of the Lockhart Fan Club stood up at this and said (in reality they yelled across the common room ) in defense for their idol, "He just wanted to give us some hand on experience!"

"Rubbish, that's what he is."

"HE IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"I put down St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Idiotic and Moronic Minds."

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"Cool. What about question number 10 'Where did Gilderoy Lockhart get his first big break?"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"That said where? I thought it said when. I put down tripping over himself and breaking his nose.

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"Cool."

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!"

"SHUT UP YOU LOT!! I"M TRYING TO WORK ON A REAL SUBJECT!", said a prefect (Not Percy mind you.)

"Like Defense Against the Dark Arts?", asked his friend.

"HOW IS THAT A REAL SUBJECT?!?!?!"

No one would think that a small meeting would really get any **real** work done. The meeting only had three people present, they were Diana Stealer, Fred Weasly and his twin, George Weasly.

"So... You want to kill, annoy, kill, humiliate, annoy, and/or humiliate the heck out of Lockhart too?", asked Diana, after checking that no one was listening in.

"Yes and you said kill, annoy and humiliate twice each.", said George

"But we need some help.", said Fred.

"We need someone to be the distraction.", explained George.

"One of us would do it..."

"But Lockhart already knows us as trouble-makers."

"Sorry but I don't do distractions and I think Lockhart suspects me as a trouble-maker 'cause of his quiz.", Diana answered.

"But he never saw your real quiz.", said George.

Diana and Fred both looked at George confused like.

"Let's just say that your real quiz is here and that Lockhart has a fake copy that makes you look like one of his many brainwashed fans."

"George! That's bloody brilliant!", exclaimed Fred, "What do you say?" As he turned back to Diana with his hand out.

"Am I only a distraction?" asked Diana, she still didn't like the idea of working with these guys. When she did a prank she did it alone. Fred hand returned to his side.

"No, you would be an equal partner.", explained Fred.

"What ever trouble or glory one of us gets into, all of us gets into." added George.

"So if one of us got caught... They would tell the teachers that the other people in the group did it too?" asked Diana slowly, she didn't like the idea of being ratted out just because the others were.

"Depending on the prank and detentions and points lost.", said George. The twins could see Di didn't like the idea that they could use that power to pin it all on her or that if they were caught she would be too. This kid is tough, Fred thought.

"So... When would you rat someone out?" Di asked again.

"In reality we usually get caught together so both of us would be caught but we never rat out a fellow trouble-maker.", replied George.

Diana let out a sigh of relief, now to find out if her ideas would be used too,"If I had an idea would we do it or do we only do your guys ideas?"

"Tough, aren't you?", said Fred with a wink," We would use your ideas if there if a small chance that we would get caught. Good?"

"So... I would get equal in everything except maybe getting caught?"

"Yes."

"And I wouldn't be a PT (Partner-in-Training)?"

"Nope", said the twins as they held their hands out to shake," you would be exactly equal so do we have a deal?"

Di thought for a moment, then...

"Deal"

"All for one...", started the twins.

"And one for all.", joined in Diana.

**AND...**

**BOOM**

A Partnership was born.

"Now all we need is a name" added Fred.

**Author's Note: Can you guess what is coming? That's right! I need some help thinking up a name... And pranks! Sorry for the short/cheesy/boring chappie (NO!! I'M SOUNDING LIKE SPIDEY!! CURSE YOU!! Shakes hand at ceiling!! and screams as Spidey is right beside/trying to sit on me! Spidey says hi and Thanks alot Wiz-wiz! Yes, that is your punishment! Theif says: That sound sick and wrong!! Shruti Moment!!) I'll try to make the next one longer and better. It shall be called Dawn of a new Hogwarts! Cool, huh? I may cross this story over with other subjects in Fanfic. So if you have any ideas please tell me... I'm thinking... uh... what was I thinking??? Oh yeah!! I was thinking Yu-gi-oh ( might be all the Yami Bakura idiot stories I've been reading. Note to self: read less Yu-gi-oh!!) Or Martin Mystery. Or FOP (Fairy Odd Parents. ) Oh well... If anyone has any ideas please tell me in a review. Please R&R.**

** WIZZIE**

**P.S: Who has an ego larger than Lockhart's? It can be from different shows/books/ other stuff. **

**P.S.S: Credit for ideas are here**

**Redflower Fox tripping over himself and breaking his nose.**

**In the first Chapter redo his teeth blinded him**

**IdiotLockhart101 St. Brutus's...**

**Thanks to all and I still need help for some things! Thanks for all the help so far!!**

**Oy that was longggggggggg. See ya next time!! Fight the Power!!**


	5. Lord of the who? Lord of the Pranks!

**Author's Note: This will be short. I've got lots of ideas from RuneWitchSakura (Wow that is really close in spelling to Bakura... weird) so I hope to use them this chapter. Thanks for reading so far and I hope you all like the show. Note: That there will be NO!! I repeat No romance in this story if I can help it unless I have to then Spidey will be writing it.**

_Disclaimer: All I own is my mind and Diana so everyone wanting to steal my ideas from my mind...KEEP OUT! IT'S MESSED UP ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU GUYS RUNNING AROUND IN THERE!!_

**Day 1  
Attack of the Troll!**

The next afternoon the new home team set their first trap. The set up was: that whenever Lockhart was to look into anything that he would see his reflection in he would see a...

"TROLL!! I LOOK LIKE A TROLL!!!" exclaimed Lockhart as he fell to his knees in anguish from seeing his 'beautiful' face in a shield.

Most unluckily one of Lockhart's fan girl came to his rescue with her mirror and said, "You look just fine...Here."

"Ah..." exclaimed Lockhart as he jumped up in glee.

"Bloody Hell! We forgot to enchant the student's mirrors!", moaned Di, while Gred and Forge were chanting, "Stupid git! Stupid, stupid GIT!!!"

"Oh well... there is all ways next time... Oh hello Prof. Trelawney." said Fred.

"Hello..."

"You don't know our names?" asked George, shocked, "Or did your 'crystal ball' not tell you?"

"I know names! Your Fretty", pointing to George, " Your Gary", pointing to Fred,

" And Your... Fretty's girlfriend... Pretty." She finished pointing to Diana as she walked away.

"I reckon that somebody has had too much sherry lately. Cock coo, cock coo." said Fred.

"Luckily that she got so mad that she just walked away." said Diana.  
"Trelawney like that, make her mad and she will forget what she come over to investigate. The bonus is she won't take away any points either." exclaimed George.

"Well said, Fretty!", asked Fred as the three-some walked down to the grounds. (Classes had ended for the day and dinner, in the Great Hall, wasn't till later.)

"No, I think your Fretty. I'm Gary, right Pretty?"

"I gotta go see you two tomorrow." said Diana as she ran to the castle 'cause she just saw one of her friends in the crowd heading to the Great Hall.

Suggested by RuneWitchSakura  
Who is Trelawney? The bug eyed "Seer" from the 3rd book up.  
I will have little notes at the end of each prank so you can skip them or read them your choice. This will cut down on author notes. 

Day 2  
Gray hair, anyone? 

That night our heroes had a new idea just waiting to happen! The set up? Put gray hair dye in his shampoo so that his hair would turn a different shade of gray ( Darker to lighter ) every hour, till sundown then it would all falling out and the next day Lockhart would wake up and have his hair back to normal. The three debated on this point of his hair growing back. The twins wanted Lockhart's hair to not grow back but then Diana pointed out that then they couldn't do anymore pranks with Lockhart's hair if they did that. So the twins gave in.  
The three had to wake up very early to charm the shampoo, have Diana give it to Lockhart because she was the only goody-two-shoes in the group, at least that was what Lockhart thought. Then go back to bed, sleep and wait till he took a shower and...  
"AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Wow", shouted Fretty to Gary, as he covered his ears with pillows in the boy's dormitory, "I didn't think he'd scream like a little girl and that loud!"  
"A rude awaking for the school... Maybe they'll sack him." Gary yelled back also covering his ears with pillows.  
Meanwhile in the girl's dormitory...  
"Bloody Hell!! Where's the idiot screaming at this time of the morning!" scream one of the girls in Diana part just barely heard over the cries.  
"It's only 7:30," said Hermione," it sound like a girl."  
"It's Lockhart!" exclaimed Diana, she like, most of the other student ( both boy and girl ) had pillows over her ears.  
"No! It! Isn't!" screamed the other girls.

"I can prove it come on." Di said as she slipped out of bed, put on a dressing gown and went to the common room. The screams were even louder there most of the student were in there waiting for something. As Diana walked towards the port-hole someone grabbed her by the back of her gown. It was Fred and he shouted over the Lockhart's shouts,

"McGonagall gone to find out what is happening." and at that moment Lockhart shut up, 5 minutes later McGonagall was back saying,

" Defense Against the Dark Arts is cancelled today on account of Prof. Lockhart's hair turning gray." McGonagall's face broke into a small smile. (Gasp!)

"And we, meaning all the teachers have decided to declare today a day off because of the rude awaking we all received. Anyone with information on the prank,"

McGonagall smiled again,

"please come see me. That is all."

As everyone headed back to the dormitories McGonagall held back Fred, George and Diana.

"For some odd reason, Lockhart seemed to think that Miss Stealer here, was responsible."

"Yeah... odd." said George with a nervous laugh.

"Those pranksters were very creative but I hope that they if they do another prank, that for the sake of the school, they make it quieter . Well... Good morning."

I was just a whole day of pandemonium. Fred, George and Diana ran around all day telling people to put earplugs in when it was sundown. When questioned, they answered

"Ask us no questions and we will tell you no lies. Believe me, you're gonna want them."

But Hermione was the most persistant, but Diana, being her cousin was targeted the most.

Once Diana ditched Hermione, She ran to Collin Creevly (Spelling?).

"Collin, Do you want some interesting pictures?"

Nodding

"Follow Lockhart until sundown, then take as many pictures as possible…. Here… you might want these. Industrial strength earplugs. NO LETTY LOCKHART SEEY YOU. Getitgotitgood! Just take the snapshots and RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!! It just might."

Then she spotted Hermione

"Hide me"

"I see you Diana"

"Bloody…. GRED! FORGE! HERMIONE IS GONNA KILL ME!!!!"

Now it is just Fred, George and Diana.

"These are the best years of my life." said Diana.

"In 20 seconds it will get better."

"I agree with Fretty."

20…19…18

"Did we forget to tell somebody?"

15…14…13

"I think we did."

10…9…8

"EARPLUGS IN!"

5…4…3.

"What Earplugs!?" Yelled the Slytherins

2…1..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Oh yeah, we forgot the Slytherins….. do I hear strangling noises? COLLIN! RUN!"

"Diana." Said Fred.

"Yes?"

"It was nice knowing you."

"Hermione, if you are behind me, don't say ANYTHING."

Silence

"Oh bloody."

Meanwhile, everyone is doing the see no evil ( hands over eyes ), hear no evil ( they couldn't hear very well ( hands over ears) and speak no evil ( hands over mouth.) On Account of all the Slytherins dying from Lockhart screaming… I lied they weren't dying just in excruciating pain. Have fun picturing that.

**A/N: I still Need a name for the home team! All the pranks today were suggested by RuneWitchSakura… except for the hair falling out! ** PLEASE REVIEW Or Lockhart will kill you... I'm just kidding...or am I? REVIEW!


	6. Di is dead and fred is dying

**Authors note: Still looking for names! Spidey helped me write parts, mainly the romance because I became too nauseous, and pulled a Sirius (Turning green and running out of the room! See MAKE A WISH!) Wow that was short. Cool! **

_Disclaimer: All I own is Diana Stealer._

**Day 3**

"**Fred is very late"**

"WHERE THE BLOODY IS FRED!?!?!?!" whined Diana

"He'll be here…soon…I hope."

"We need to paint the room before Lockhart comes."

"How hard can it be. We can use magic" 

"Without Peeves messing it up?"

"Oh yeah…"

"Why can't we just charm the walls?"

"We are but we have to put the paint on everything for the spell to work."

"… You sure?"

"Yes."

"Hello, sorry I'm late. Ran into Filch… For some reason he wanted to know why I had paint and he tried to…" Fred started.

Before Diana had the chance to cut in George did, "Come on. Let's get painting! Di you do the desks, Fred paintings and I'll do the walls and windows."

"Right!"

"Right and remember no magic except the moving photos or the paint will start changing colours and the Prank won't work."

* * *

20 minutes later

"We've finished!" Exclaimed George.

"And just in time! Hide!" whispered Di and Fred.

Just as the Scheming Trio hid, Lockhart entered the room, which just had to turn gray.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Lockhart, "It's back!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" As he closed the door and tried to lock the door with no success.

"Gilderoy, what is wrong?" Asked McGonagall.

"My room is gray!!! EVERYTHING IS GRAY!!!"

"Come, come I sure you just imaging things."

"NO I'M NOT!!!" but either way he still followed McGonagall to the door while cowering behind her.

"There see, Gilderoy…" Said McGonagall as Lockhart peeked out behind her. The room was back to its normal colour.

"But… But… BUT!!" Started Lockhart.

"You must excuse me… But I have a class to prepare for." Said McGonagall as she returned to her classroom.

"But but but but but but but but but!"

"Really Lockhart "but" is not the kind of word you want to repeat in front of the students."

"WHAT STUDENTS!!!???!!!"

"There are no students here at the moment but you may get into the habit of saying naughty word over and over again." Said McGonagall as she entered her classroom.

"But… But… But… But… But… But…" Said Lockhart again as he turned to the door.

He reached out and…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! It's changed AGAIN!!!!!!! IT'S Haunted!! IT'S POLKA DOTTED!!! RED AND GRAY!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" as he slammed the door shut again.

"Lockhart, now what is the matter?" Asked a cold voice full of EVIL!!!!

"Bloody Hell! It's Snape!!" whispered the scheming Trio in sync.

"Snape my room keeps changing colours. See…" as the room turned back to normal.

Snape looked in, closed the door and opened it to see a…

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not Orange!!!" cried Lockhart!

"Lockhart I think you need to see Madam Pomfery. The room looks perfectly fine. Here looniebin… lets go."

"But… It's Orange Don't You See It?!?!?!"

"Lockhart you are going mad. Now come on like a good loon."

"But… But…"

"I give you a lollypop."

"OK!!!"

As they heard the two teachers walk to the hospital wing, Fred looked at George and Diana on utter astonishment.

"WHAT THE BLOODY WAS THAT!" Fred asked

"SHUT UP! FRED! I'm as lost as you are." George stated

"Well, since I thought that teachers would check his theory, I took his contacts that he keeps in his desk, and used that as a base to enchant the walls to only use the ocular properties of Lockhart's eyes to see. I used mine as well as George's too, knowing that since you were identical twins that they would be alike, so we could watch our prank in action." Diana stated

"Hang on! That was why you were tinkering with my eyes and staring a lot. I thought you were just being flirty.**(A/N :wink wink:)**" George exclaimed!

"One: ew. And two: Diana Stealer likes nobody as a crush" she said blushing.

George looked a little disappointed while Fred laughed his head off.

"Looks like Georgey Porgey has a crush"

Both Diana and George blushed at this.

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO! Oh yeah and Diana.. go away, you are a nerd! So See you later, Right Georgey Porgey.."

"Well I figure I will have to go anyways… As we are all inside a closet." As she started to leave the closet.

"Oh yeah… Diana." Started George.

"Yeah?"

"Run."

"Why?"

"'Cause Hermione is right behind you and it looks like she heard every word." Explained Fred.

"Hermione? If you are behind please say something."

"You are soooooo dead!" said Hermione.

"Oh Bloody… Bye." Said Diana as she made a break for the door.

"See ya tomorrow… If you live. Man Di is sooooooooooo dead."

"No kidding."

"Your girlfriend is gonna die."

"Shut up! SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"Denial!"

"Fred."

"Yes."

"5 seconds head start."

"Oh bloody, Di your boyfriend gonna kill me!"

"Who is this boyfriend you speak of?" yelled Di as she ran past with Hermy right on her heels.

"Fred… 5 is up."

"HELP!!"

End of Day 3 

**Fred may be dead tomorrow.**

**The End… Or Is It?**

**Dun dun dunnnnnn**

**Authors note: ****RuneWitchSakura**** came up with the idea of room changing colour. Spidey helped with stuff… wow she is useful! Trying out new names for the gang.**


	7. Who is she dating?

**Authors note: I'm tired. This one will be shorter! May redo it later! Spidey helped write it**

_Disclaimer: Too tired to think of something Witty. I own nothing_

**Day 4**

**I'm just not ready.**

"Diana!"

"Fred! George! OUTTA THE GIRL'S DORMITORY!"

"Hey we came to get you! Its time for more torture! Aren't you happy?" Questioned Fretty with a puppy dog pout, the complete version.

"Well, I would be happier if I was out of bed, and not in my almost see-through Jammies!" Diana almost yelled while she Remained Hidden under her blankets.

"Oh…" cough, cough "Well it's time to go, Right Gary?"

"Way ahead of you Fretty!! Meet us on the third floor staircase."

"Whatever… JUST… GET… OUT!!!" this time she did scream.

Most of the girls were up now and saw the twins…

"They were kind of cute… Diana are you dating them?" asked Lavender Brown

"EWW." Diana cringed "No but Hermy is…"

Hermy who was talking in her sleep confirmed this.

"Yeah, yeah. Go on, it is all true" she said in her sleep!

You see, in her dream, she was accepting an award for the brainiest witch in Hogwarts.

_Miss. Granger has just won the intelligence award of all of Hogwarts History._

_"Miss Granger, you are soooo smart!!!!"_

_"Yeah, yeah. Go on, it is all true."_

"Wow! Have you snogged yet?"

"Yeah, a Looooooooong time ago."

_"When do you think you should have gotten this award? Long ago?" _

_"Yeah, a Looooooooong time ago!"_

"Which Weasley!?"

"Ron."

_"Who is the stupidest person in Hogwarts?" _

_"Ron."_

Diana, now dressed had to put her pillow over her face to stop herself from bursting out laughing and waking up Hermy. Because Di had to spend last summer with Hermy, who always, ever night without fail, talks in her sleep. She decided to charm her quill to record all the sounds in the night. **(A/N in Di's (she is her 2nd year right now) 4th year her quill went missing and Rita had it and renamed it sooo Di got ripped off.)** It just happened that this morning Di still had her pen going.

"Hermy… when did you and him start dating?" asked Di as she grabbed her quill because she knew that Hermy was just starting to wake-up so asking that question, was not the greatest idea…

Hermy woke-up, looked around and her eyes fell on Diana all dressed and ready to run and screamed…

"I'm going To KILL YOU!!!!"

"That my cue to ski-doo. Bye."

Later

"Where is Diana?" George asked

"Awww, Missing your Girlfriend" Fred Teased

"Dude, she isn't my Girlfriend. She doesn't even like me… as a crush."

"Dude, we are Twins. We have twin telepathy."

"Does that mean you saw my dream last night? If you tell her…"

"Dude, I didn't see anything of yours. I was dreaming about Angela."

"Whooo Fred has a crush!"

"Kinda late for that dude."

Suddenly there was a huge wind.

"Sorry guys, Hermy is going to kill me again! Off to get the pictures. Meet me in the great hall for breakfast to review the Pictures." Yelled Diana.

Then another wind blew by.

"I'm guessing that was Hermy"

"Fretty, you should go protect your girlfriend."

"SHE… IS… NOT… MY… GIRLFRIEND!!!" Inhales deeply "Let's go to the great hall."

Later in the great hall

"So she said that in her sleep?" asked the twins after she finished explaining Why Hermy want to kill again.

"Yup!"

"Why did you copy it down if you knew that is would annoy her?"

"I wanted to share this with future generations."

"Fair enough. Let's get going if we are going to do the prank."

Later again…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yelled Lockhart!

" Sigh… What is it now Lockhart?" asked McGonagall.

"My pictures have all been replaced with pictures of… of… of…"

"Me. Lockhart I'm starting to get creeped out. I'm sorry I just not ready. " stated McGonagall as she looked around Lockhart's classroom and started to giggle as she left the room. She saw the Scheming Trio in the corridor and called them into her office.

"Well done yet again and thank you for making it quieter" The Scheming Trio high-five each other. "But I'm afraid you will have to stop pulling the pranks."

"WHAT?!?!?!" cried the Trio.

**The End**

**Maybe the next Chapter will be the last.**

**Good bye.**


	8. I LOVE MY MOMMY

_Disclaimer: Not now, not ever…Now…GET OFF MY CASE!!!_

_Blood-sucking lawyers!_

**Day 5**

**The day of the MOMMY!!!**

"No more pranks…. That sucks raw eggs." George announced

"Watch your mouth Mr. Weasley" Said Diana

"Watch YOUR mouth Mrs.Weasley" Fred Said

"Eww! I'm not a Mrs or a Weasley!"

"Not yet" Fred said coyly

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!"

"So what will we do for a whole week? We can't do pranks or McGonagall will skin us alive!" George said

"Quick, Name the person you hate the most." Diana demanded

"Lockhart" said Fred

"Lockhart" said George

"Besides Lockhart. A Student. We want to change into them. "

"How?" asked both Twins

"Using the Polyjuice potion. Just name someone."

"Ummmmmmm Slytherins."

"Great! Draco Malfoy, Montague Flint, and Pansy Parkison"

"But who will be Pansy?" Fred asked innocently

"The Girl. Duh!" Said Diana

"Soooo…. You or George?" asked Fred innocently……again

"Who do you think" asked Diana who was starting to get annoyed.

"Soooo, George?"

"What?" Said George breaking out of a daydream.

"No! Me." Yelled Diana

"I want to be Flint! I always wanted to mess up the Slytherins in Quidditch." Said Fred

You do Realize that we aren't doing this during a game… You-are-on-the-Griffindor-team-and-that-means-that-the-Griffindor-team-would-be-short-a-beater-and-would-have-to-forfit-" Diana said without taking a breath.

"Or you could fill in." suggested George.

"No-I-can't-play-Quidditch-and-even-if-I-was-a-good-beater-We-would-still-lose-because-he-would-make-a-brilliant-captain-and-he-would-win-the-game-for-Slytherin-and-that-is-bad." Again without a breath.

I just love the way she talks without a breath… wait I don't think this! I am Reading George's mind! COOL! I HAVE PROOF! AH HA! Oh George!!

What Fred?

I can read your mind.

No you can't!

Yes I can!

No you can't

Then how are we talking without a sound

…………………………………………

Yoooou Loooooooooooooooove her!

SHUT UP

I'm not making noise am I?

Meanwhile Diana was looking at Fred and George who were staring into space making weird faces at the poor innocent Ceiling.

I'm gonna kill you later.

Aw, don't what to upset the love of your life?

Just as much as you don't want to upset the love of your life.

Who? Angelina?

No your pillow

Why you!! Don't dis my pillow!!!

"Well, as interesting as it is to watch you both look at the ceiling , I've gotta go before Hermy decides to kill me for no apparent reason. There is a Rumour going around that she is Dating Ron…. Do you know anything about that?"

"No…"

"Goooood."

"So, you think I would make a good captain?"

"No, I just said that to make you shut up and it worked for about a minute. See ya!"

"Wait! What about the potion?"

"Fred gets Flint's hair, George gets Malfoy's hair, and I will get Pansy's hair! Just make sure it's their hair not an animal! Use these plastic containers to contain the hair. BYE! Meet me in the 2nd floor girls washroom at Lunch!"

"WHY THERE?" George belted

"Because it's safe. Or do you want Percy to find you?"

"Sounds good" both twins said as they turned pale at the thought of what Percy would do to them.

* * *

**LUNCH**

"So how long is this gonna take?" asked the twins.

"Usually a month but… but we can cheat." Replied Diana.

"Will cheating work?"

"Yes, I've done it before and it only took 3 hours."

"REALLY?" both the twins' jaws dropped and George added mental This is a side I've never seen before…I like it. Along with a I hope Fred isn't reading my thoughts again. With an added heeheehee From Fred.

"Ok… Got the hairs?" Diana asked

"Yup." Both twins replied

"Good I got the ingredients here so let's start."

**5 minutes later.**

"So now what? We still have 3 hours…" Fred started after hiding the cauldron.

"2 hours and 55 minutes." George corrected

"Whatever… What should we do?" Fred started again

"Lets play a muggle game" Suggested George.

"Name some" demanded Fred.

"umm, Rock, paper, scissors."

"No that's the cheesest game in the book!" almost yelled Di.

"Don't dis the paper!"

"Ok… Checkers." Suggested Fred

"Yes, magically a checkers board and checkers will poof out of nowhere."

"Oh yeah…"

"How about… Hide and go seek?" suggested George.

"Yes and the seeker won't look in the bathroom stalls that are the only place to hide."

"How about spin the bottle."

"But there are too many Girls! Somebody get a boy for George!"

"Grrrrr!"

"Truth or dare. That what we'll do." Di said.

"Good" agreed George.

"Sure. Di, truth or date." Said Fred.

"It's truth or dare!" Di countered.

"Not the way I play it!" replied Fred.

"Truth… I don't trust you."

"Ok… Have you ever done anything riskier than we are doing now?"

"Yes… I-made-the-Polyjuice-potion-in-3-hours-which-could-have-resulted-in-me-turning-into-something-hideous-Or-getting-caught. Truth or Dare Fred?" said Diana

"I don't trust you either so truth." Replied Fred

"Hmmm, who was the first person you ever snogged… properly?" Diana asked

"Nobody!" Fred said proudly

"You have NEVER snogged anybody…EVER?" asked George

"Not properly. I messed up each time. I once laughed mid-snog, fell asleep mid-snog, sneezed mid-snog, coughed mid-snog, threw up mid-snog……" Fred started

"TOO MUCH INFO!" Diana squealed

"George, Truth or dare?" Fred asked with a mischievous smile on his face.

"I think I trust you, but not in truth… Dare."

"I dare you to tell the whole school who you love." Fred said with an evil grin

Surprisingly, George replied "Ok" with an equally mischievous grin on his face.

He went over the banister and yelled through the whole school….

"I LOVE MY MOM!"

"But…but…but… but… but… but… but… but…" Fred stammered

"There. Haha! Truth or dare Diana." George asked

"I don't trust you either so…. Truth."

"You are such a wimp" Fred commented through his shock.

"But I'm a smart wimp and one to talk macho man." Diana countered.

"Do you like me?" George asked

"Define Like." Diana said

"Like… like as a friend"

"Then yes."

"As a boyfriend?"

"That's another question."

"Haha! Georgie got rejected" Fred sang

"Fred, Truth or dare."

"Dare… wait! Truth! Truth!!! TRUTH!!!!!" Fred wailed.

"First said, first done. I dare you to… To… Hmmm… Yell 'Percy I love you will you please marry me.' in front of the whole school." Di said thoughtfully.

"You wouldn't!!!" Fred said shocked.

"You're right, that's too painful for the whole school to hear. Hmmm…. A dare… A dare, a dare for Fred…" A mischievous grin revealed itself on Diana's face that could rival the twins," A dare… A dare? A dare… Fred your hard, curse you!!! I dare you to… To… Hmmm… Snog McGonagall! Just kidding…"

"JUST BLOODY PICK SOMETHING!" yelled Fred.

"I dare you to… run to the front of the great hall and do a very intense air guitar!"

"OK… What's an air guitar?"

"Just do this!" Di said as she did her impression of an air guitar," Just more intense."

"Ok?"

"Wait George you go with Fred and give this Camcorder to Collin."

"What!?! I'll get you Diana Stealer!" Shouted Fred.

"Ok." Replied George.

* * *

5 more minutes later the twins returned with Fred's face looking the same colour as his hair.

"I hope your happy Diana. George, Truth or Dare?" Fred said deathly quiet.

"I know that you won't take your anger out on me sooooooooooooooooooooo dare." Replied George.

"I dare you to snog Diana!" Fred said with a evil/psychotic grin.

**Authors' Note: This is now, for here on out, done by both Spidey and Theif unless stated otherwise. This happened on a Saturday! That is all! Need some more dares/truths/pranks/ways to not get caught! Please review!**


	9. George Heart Diana

_Disclaimer: I mumbling Okay, okay. WE own nothing. And my more mumbling Okay, OKAY! OUR -disclaimer-is-cheesy-because-all-the-good-ones-have-been-used-up-before-us!!! Panting heavily_   
**Warning: As Spidey says: this may suck raw eggs! Because SOMEBODY glares at Spidey who is not here but a million miles away ditched me and wasn't around when I wrote it and it will have hardly any romance if I can help it. So don't sue me and as some other authors say: all flames will be use to destroy Barney and Elmo and Barbies and... Uh... Dora the Explorer! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! cough, cough Too much evil laughing. Read on!  
Note: Italic equal thoughts. Get-it-got-it-good!**

**Continuing day 5**  


"I dare you, George, to snog Diana. Properly!" Fred repeated with an evil smirk. There is no way that they can get out of this! Fred thought gleefully.

When Diana heard this dare she paled so much that she looked like a ghost! George was also surprised by the dare and looked like he was going to faint. **(Not from happiness, but shock.)**  
Unluckily for Fred, while luckily for Di and Fretty the potion was ready.

"Game over." George said out of the blue.

"Why?" Fred asked.

"The potion is ready. So what prank are we going to pull?" George justified.

"How about Operation..." Diana started

"Since when do we name our pranks?" both the twins cut in.

"Since I thought of it to get the Slytherins in more trouble!"

"Oh..." Both twins shut up.

"As I was saying, let's do... Operation: Know Your Stars."

"What's that?" George asked.

"A muggle skit on a muggle TV show called All That."

"Oh... So what's the plan? O one of much nerdyness ." Fred commented.

"Watch it Gary. I can come up with some very evil dares."  
Fred shut up and George asked

"The prank?"

"In a nut shell, this is it. 1, take the potion. 2, one person puts up cameras in one room while the other put TVs in all the classrooms and some in the corridors and in the common rooms-"

"How are we going to put TVs in the common rooms?" Fred asked.

"I'll answer questions after the plan is explained." Diana replied. " Anyways, for 3, we lure Lockhart into the classroom where the cameras are. 4, we do this." Diana pulled out a TV and on the screen was All That doing the Know your Stars skit.

"Any Questions?"

"Yes. How are we going to put TVs in the common rooms?" Fred asked again.

"Harry and Ron are doing Gryffindor. Some random boys from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and you two are doing Slytherin."

"What! Why can't you?" the twins whinnied.

"Because I'm doing the cameras."

"Why can't we?" they asked.

"Because, knowing you two, you would blow it up."

"So you trust us enough to give us a TV?" Fred asked.

"... Sure... Let's go with that."

"So where are we getting the TVs from?" George questioned.

"My parents sent them this morning. They own a electronics store."

"OK... Wait a minute! How are we going to show the skit to the whole school?"

Fred said as he thought he found a glitch in the prank. He was wrong.

"Don't worry. I've got it all worked out. I'll just hack into a satellite and broadcast it to all the TVs in the school."  
Fred found another glitch or so he thought,"How are you going to hack into the satellite if you don't have a computer?" He had saw a muggle spy movie or two.

"My laptop." Diana said proudly. "Any more questions/problems?"

"I got one. The muggle stuff won't work because of the magic in the air." George cut in. His twin nodded.

"I thought of that and then I accidentally charmed my laptop and it works just fine. The internet is just faster at loading."

"Oy. Wait, why are we taking the potion if no one will see us?" Fred asked.

"Because he will hear our voices and someone could walk in." Diana stated.

"Oh." Fred decided to shut up again.

"Can we start now?" Di asked.

"Sure as soon as George does his dare." Fred said evilly.  
Di paled again and said

"You're kidding!"  
Right then, a special girl walked into the bathroom and heard Diana saying

"You're kidding!"

"Diana? Is that you?" the girl called out.

"Oh blast! Quick the potion!" Di whispered so that the girl wouldn't hear. Fred

grabbed the cauldron and hid in behind the toilet (with a lid on top of said potion.)

"Diana? What are you doing?" the girl asked again.

"Hi Hermy." Diana said as she stepped out of the stall. "What's up?"

"Nothing. You?"  
Diana was sure that Hermy hadn't heard Fred and George, who were hiding in Moaning Myrtle's stall, listening in, but she was still worried.

"Just reading a note I found."

"Oh, so that is why you said 'You're kidding'?"

"Yup."

"Where is it written down?" Hermione asked innocently.

Diana started to sweat,

"In here..." She said pointing to the stall she had walked out of, hoping that there was a message that would make Hermy believe her story. And not see the potion.

"Oy... you weren't lying when you said you're kidding!" Hermione said as she read the message Fred had wrote when the Scheming Trio entered the stall, when no one was looking, of course.  
Hermy read the message aloud.  
George Weasly (4th year, Gryffindor) looooooooves Diana Stealer (2nd year, Gryffindor)!! So says A witness to George's confession. 

Around the message was a heart and very badly drawn cupids.  
When George heard this he elbowed Fred in the stomach and whispered so that only Fred could hear,

"A witness to his confession?"

"I was bored, I had a quill on me, the wall was just there and it just happened to save your girlfriend's life." Fred explained.

"She is not my girlfriend!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot... She rejected you!"

" No that's not right... Never-mind! Were you thinking this would happen?"

"Wellllll. No. But as I said I was bored, I had a quill, the wall was there and I did see your confession last night."

"Shut up!"

"OW." George had elbowed him in the stomach again.

"Well I... What's behind the toilet, Diana?" asked Hermione.  
Oh no, the potion! Quick, just keep a cool head and play it cool. Diana thought as she came up with an idea, at a speed, way over the speed limit.

"You mean that rat?" Diana said, loud enough for Fred and George to hear.

"Quick, where is that charmed toy rat?" Fred asked George.

"In your pocket! Here, give it to me!" George said equally as worried if not more.

"No, it's not a... RAT!!!!!" Hermione screamed as she ran out of the bathroom

leaving Diana to laugh and congratulate the twins on a job well done.

"Nice, very nice but we are trying to scare Lockhart not Hermy."

"Can't we kill two birds with one stone?" Fred asked.

"Okay, let's take the potion before anything else can go wrong." George cut in.

"Right!" Di and Fred said.  
In no time flat some of the potion was put in three glasses and some of the hairs were added.

"Oy, that is sick." Diana commented as her potion turned pink, Fred's turned boogie green, and George's turned the colour of toe nails.

"Hang on, lets go in different stalls. That way we can change robes." suggested George as he gave Fred and Diana "their" robes.

"Right. I call this stall!" Diana called out.

"Ok." George said leaving.

"No fair." Fred said but he followed George out.

"Wait, what do we do if Flint, Parkison, or Malfoy walk in on us?" asked Fred looking for a glitch in Diana's plan!

"They are a room where they will find everything they need, till we're done!" George said.  
Diana, for once confused, asked,"How did you know that?"

"I saw you pushing them into the room."

"Oh." was all Diana said but Fred "said" to George's mind  
Stalker!!!!!  
I am not! George quickly replied  
Are to!  
Am not!!  
Are to!  
Am not!!!  
Are to!  
Am Not!!!!  
Are to!  
Am not!!  
Are to!  
Am not!!  
Are not!!  
Am to!!!!!!!  
"Okay?? Let's take the potion!" Diana said.

"Ha I win!! Ok bottoms up!" Fred said.

"This is gonna be sick! And I'm going to kill you later!" George stated.

"Cheers." Diana said as she pinched her nose and took a swig.

"Cheers." The twins also said and then took a quick gulp of the sick potion.  
As we all know what happens, let's skip the transforming and go straight, to when they all come out of the stalls.

"Diana, this look is definitely an improvement!" Flint/Fred remarks when he sees her.

"Haha. Let's get going. the potion only last an hour." Pansy/Diana replied with a forced laugh.

"What classroom are we meeting in?" Malfoy/George asked.

"Lockhart's office. Good?" Pansy/Diana answered.

"Sure."

"Works for me."

"Let's go!"

**A/N: HAHAHAHAHA! REVIEW!**


	10. George too smart?

**A/n: No authors note…. Wow! Then what would you call what we are writing now…hmmmm.**

_Disclaimer: We only own Diana and the plot. Nobody take it or you will suffer. WT wanted to add more but Spidey prohibited it. CURSE YOU!!!!!_

**Day 5**

**Still!**

"Bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, BLOODY!" Yelled Diana who was still disguised as Pansy.

"What is it?" asked Fred/Flint

"Diana, I have never seen you this upset… are you alright?" asked a very concerned George/Malfoy

"I have bad news guys…. A bit of it… good and bad…" Said Diana

"WHAT!" yelled the twins who didn't look like twins anymore

"Good news, the potion worked." Diana started

"OBVOIUSLY" Fred said rudely

"Shut up Fred, let her finish" George burst out

"Bad news 1. The Slytherins escaped the room of requirement.

Bad news 2. The appliances won't come in until NEXT week, and

Bad news 3. I think I'm getting a cold." Diana finished

"Oy, Diana, I think you're gonna throw up." Said George

"So what was the good news?" Fred asked being the stupid jerk he was.

"I'm not gonna throw u……………." Diana started before she made a mad dash for the bathroom stall.

"Oy…. That's sick." Fred said 

When Diana exited the stall she looked like Diana and not Pansy.

"George, I hate it when you're right. You're too smart for your own good…... Get lost."

"Well that's a first…HEY! I thought the potion lasted for an hour." Said Fred

"When you are well" Diana replied

"Oh… Diana, it's almost 8:00, go get some sleep and we will catch up in the morning!" George said.

_George that sounded like something a girl would say._ Fred thought telepathically.

_Oh…_ George replied.

_Come on we are getting out of here before you start wearing your hair long, start cross-dressing and start wearing makeup._

_HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… Hmm…_

Diana who had stopped throwing up looked up to see George and Fred harassing the ceiling again. Not physically, not verbal but facially.

"I think I gonna go to sleep." Said Diana walking out of the bathroom, when she turned around to say go bye to the twins, she noticed one of them was blowing kisses.

"George, stop doing that." Diana said.

"Doing what?" Said the twin, closest to the stall as the one who was blowing kisses, smirked evilly.

Diana looked from one twin to the other many times before she exclaimed

"AUGH!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU WHEN YOU AREN'T TALKING!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!" she cried as she stormed out of the room leaving the twins alone… except for Myrtle.

_You know…_Fred said to his twin_ we haven't pranked Lockhart in a longggggggggg time._

_We are supposed to be keeping a **low **profile!_

_So?_

_AH!!_

_On a completely unrelated subject. Diana is cute when she's mad._

_YOU CAN'T SAY THAT FRED!!!!!!!!!_

_Why not? Are you jealous?_

_YES! NOOO! I mean NO!_

_You looooooove Diana._

_Yes I do._

_OOH! I HAVE Proof!_

_How, we are talking telepathically_

_Aww Nuts…_

Both twins left the room to go into the dorm, but Fred went to talk with Lee.

"Seriously dude! I can read his mind… you could too!"

"How?"

"A quick spell… OOH! Let's use it on Lockhart too! You do it to George and I'll do it to Lockhart… when they are asleep of course"

"I'm assuming that this is one of your pranks?"

"Oh yeah… Operation Know your Stars. We need dirt on Lockhart."

"Since when do you name your pranks?"

"Since Diana Stealer joined the group."

"Why is she in the group again?"

"One word. George."

"Huh? Why George?"

"You'll find out in one word. Tonight."

"Synchronize watches. We will go at 0 two hundred hours."

"When is that?"

"2 o'clock AM. Its early I know, but they will be asleep."

"Whatever."

"Did you even hear a word I said?"

"Nope!"

"Oy, this is gonna take a while."

"See ya in the morning, when it's 2 and you explain the plan and I'll ignore it because I'll have a better plan made up by that time. Later Lee!"

"Later Fred. Oy… This is gonna be one long term."

**A/n: The end of day 5, hopefully! REVIEW! Get well soon Diana.**


	11. George, there's a new boy in town

**A/n: Have fun reading**

_Disclaimer: WAAAY TOO EARLY TO BE WRITING! WE OWN NOTHING BUT DIANA! We don't even own the words for the spell. It's from a disney Movie. Which we don't own. _

**Day 6…FINALLY!**

**Waaaay too early!!!**

"Comon Lee! It's not that early!"

"I'm over here and dressed, who are you trying to wake up?"

"……. I… was…testing you."

"Then who were you poking"

Fred looked down

"George…he's asleep….and dreaming of his loooooove!"

"Ok then… what is the spell?"

"umm…. Traguna Macoities Traguna Sanctif Sea."

"Ok ok! So I can see George's dreams?"

"Yeah! Now, bring me Harry's invisibility cloak, I'm gonna need it"

"Ok" Lee said grabbing the cloak

"Thanks, use these." Fred said giving Lee a walkie-talkie

"Fred, muggle things don't work here. Did you bonk your head again with your beater bat…again?"

"HE MADE ME!"

"SHHH!"

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but Diana figured out a way to make muggle things work!"

"Ok Let's go!"

Now Fred is in Lockhart's room with his wand at the ready. At the exact same time, Lee and Fred said:

"Traguna Macoities Traguna Sanctif Sea"

Then there was a huge flash of pinkish-green light, causing Fred and Lee to run back to their beds.

In the morning, at a more sane time for a Saturday, Fred woke up to see George having a fit.

"Oy George, did your lovely dream turn into a nightmare when Diana said no to your marriage proposal?"

"What are you talking about. My name is Gilderoy Lockhart, not George."

"Oy, Prof, look in the mirror."

"Why am I in the boy's dormitoryyyy…!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL AM I DOING IN A YOUNG BOYS BODY!"

"You are not my brother. You are a…a…a… MONSTER!"

Then, there was a loud piercing scream.

"Looks like George woke up in your body… hehehehe this could be fun. Lockhart, I have a proposition for you. If you act like my brother all day, I will not tell the teachers about you secretly dying your hair every morning. Deal?"

"How did you know about that! Deal…"

"Wow! That was actually true? I was just fishing! Sweet! Before you go, I need to tell you some stuff so you can 'play the role' of George."

A little while later, "George" was with Hermoine, Harry, and Ron on the 7th floor. Fred had forgot to tell "George" to avoid his other brothers. Luckily, Ron being Ron, didn't notice a difference.

"Who are the new kids running right towards us…quickly" Ron said quickly, just avoiding being hit by the boys running towards them, and a floating little green haired person with them.

"SorryneedtohidefromSnapegottagobye!" one of the boys yelled as he ran over "George" "Wow, sounds like they are in a hurry" Harry said. 

"If Snape is after them, they have a reason to run." Said Ron

"Well I have to go! Tell Diana I hope she gets well soon!" Said Harry

"See you later Harry!" Yelled both "George" and Ron in chorus.

Then Hermoine ran off to talk with Harry privately

"What do you think they are talking about" Asked "George"

"Probably class" Replied Ron

"Hermy, you coming?" Yelled "George"

"Yes! George, you have been hanging out with Diana too much!" Hermoine said

"That's cuz he fancies her!" said Ron, followed by an "ow" because "George" had slapped him, trying his best to play the role of George.

Just as the kids parted Hermy said:

"George, I saw what was written in the bathroom! There is no need to hide it."

Cue fade out.

Now in Lockhart's room for the second time, Fred was consoling George or "Lockhart"

"It could have been worse… you could have been switched with me…"

"Nobody would be able to tell the difference"

"Diana would"

"Only when we are talking…. Awww poop."

"What?"

"I promised her I would visit her today. She is with Pomfery."

"You promised her?"

"No… I just said I would."

"Dude, You sooooooo love her."

"I… I'm in too much despair to care what you think now."

"Well… at least it's Saturday."

"How is that a good thing?"

"No class for you to mess up in."

"You mean for 'George' to mess up in."

"Yeah."

Then on cue "George" walked in.

"If I'm gonna be you and you're gonna me, we need to get some things straight."

"Aww nuts."

And then "Gilderoy's" George's eyes narrowed

"FRED, WHAT DID YOU AND LEE DO!!??!!"

"It's a long story."

"And your tell us it."

"Aww… No! I've gonna go figure out how to fix this. BYE!!" Fred said as he ran for it

"Well Lockhart, it is just you and me… so lets go down to the hospital wing."

"Fine"

Down at the hospital wing.

"Hi Diana! It's me! George! I know I look like Lockhart bu…" "Lockhart" started

He had stopped because Diana snogged him on the spot. Looking like Lockhart… Ick. Then, "Lockhart" walked out then the kiss was done, and ran into things, dazed.

When "George" wondered why his body was the one being kissed, puckered up (ick ick ick ick) and got slapped.

"George, I don't like you that much." Diana said

"It's called the nine hour flu" Said a floating green haired person.

Then, somebody with the green haired person sat down beside Diana's bed, and tilted back the seat back onto 2 legs. He was a boy. An extremely good looking boy. His black hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance, and looked like he was a fifth year Diana noticed.

"Nine hour flu? What's that?" The boy asked

"It's a type of flu….My mom had it. It causes you to have the opposite emotion about someone than you really feel." The green haired person said.

But "George" wasn't paying attention to this… and neither was Diana. She was too busy staring at the black haired boy.

"When did she start to have this flu?" the boy asked Madame Pomfery

"I would say about 10 and 1/2 hours, but she was in this state about 8 ¾ hours ago!"

"So about 15 minutes?"

"YEP" Yelled the green haired person

15 minutes later

"Woah… I don't feel sick anymore." Diana said, noticing the black haired boy and the green haired person.

"What happened?" she asked

"Welll… you snogged me..." Said the black haired boy with a small smile teasing across his face

"Oh" Diana said blushing

"I'm joking! My name is…" The black haired boy started

Then, Fred walked in.

"DIANA! I HEARD THE NEWS! YOU SNOGGED LOCKHART!" Fred yelled

"WHAT!" Diana said, starting to scrape off her tongue.

"Hahahahahaha!"

"Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew! Blah. Gotta go wash out my mouth! Later!"

"See you later Diana." Said the boy

"See you later…?"

**A/n: Wanna learn his name? Read our other story, "MAKE A WISH!". Keep reading and review! And Merry Whatever you celebrate. Sorry it wasn't a hoilday one but next one we'll try! REVIEW!!!!**


	12. Surprisem Surprise

_Disclaimer: We own nothing_

**Day 6** **Continued**

"See you later…?"

"Oh, my name is…"

"PADFOOT! GUESS WHAT!" Yelled a very messy haired boy, about Sirius' age.

"Oh no. Not him. Excuse me Diana. What Prongs?"

"I found my son! WITH LILYKINS!"

"Lily is here? I thought Cosmo only took us"

"No! I had a son with her"

"Erm…. Diana, excuse my friend. Nobody is upstairs if you know what I mean."

"Oh… I see… Well, bye." Diana said shyly

"Bye. Meet me at Hogsmeade if you get the chance. And my name is Sirius." The boy said with a wink at Diana.

"Umm, Sirius, we have no classes to attend, so why not go now….after I wash out my mouth I mean..."

"Sure. I have to find a healer for my friend. See you later hotshot."

Then standing in front of the door of the Hospital wing, was George… in Lockhart's body of course.

"What. Was. That? What the bloody was that?"

"He asked me out. I agreed. Simple actually. Wow you must have gotten Lockhart's brain. And Yes I know you are George. I wasn't completely delirious… but the kiss wasn't me! I swear!"

Then, as Sirius was exiting, he said to "Lockhart":

"Oy, you're trapped in HIS body. Just say the spell backwards and the spell is reversed."

"How did you know that?" Asked "Lockhart" suspiciously

"It's… kinda a funny story…. I tried it out with my friends… the one that's crazy and this other dude… and…well… yeah… The spell was Traguna Macoities Traguna Sanctif Sea I reckon. The reversed spell is Aes Fitcnas Anugart Seitiocam Anugart." Said Sirius kinda embarassed

"Ok… Can you perform the spell right now?" Asked "Lockhart"

"Umm… Sure… let me find my wand… there we go! _Aes Fitcnas Anugart Seitiocam Anugart_!" Sirius chanted

With a big puff of smoke and a BOOM, There stood Lockhart, rubbing his face.

"I'M ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Said Lockhart doing a very creepy happy dance.

"Forget about washing your mouth… Lets go now."

"Hold on.. Let me wash my mouth. I don't want no Lockhart germs."

"I'll meet you in the great hall in 5 minutes. I have to talk to Cosmo, he looks worried." Said Sirius going off to meet Cosmo and find "Mr.Crazy".

"Ok. Bye." Diana said letting out a sigh

Then, suddenly, Hermy appeared beside Diana

"Cheating on Georgie are you now?" Hermy accused

"I thought you and George were going out, so I'm not the one cheating."

"No! I'm not dating him, I'm dating Ron… NO I MEANT I'M NOT DATING ANY OF THEM!"

"Suuuuuuuuuuure!"

"Diana."

"I know the drill. 5 seconds. Just let me rinse my mouth out."

"I'm following you."

"Even when I go potty?"

"NOT THAT FAR." Hermoine said with a disgusted look, which distracted her enough to let Diana get a head start, making Hermy lose track of where she went.

5 minutes later, in the Great Hall, Sirius is waiting, then is suddenly taken by a gust of wind. Once outside, he noticed that the gust of wind was Diana. Once she stopped, she said

"I am soooo sorry, but my cousin is trying to kill me sooo…"

"Did the girl have bushy hair?" Sirius asked

"Yeah… Why?"

"No reason. I think I saw her coming down the corridor looking for you."

"Yeah that's Hermy."

"Hermy?"

"Yeah… Hey… I just realized, it's 2 days till Christmas… Meaning there is a ball tomorrow night… and…" Diana started

"Diana," Sirius said as he got down on one knee like he was proposing, "Do you want to go to the ball with me?"

"YESS! I mean… Sure… why not." Diana said, noticing that Fred was watching out of his window, with really long ears going down the side of the wall nearest the couple. Then, Diana went up to the ears, grabbed one, and screamed into it saying:

"I DON'T APPRECIATE BEING LISTENED IN ON! GOT IT FRED!!!"

"Got it Diana." Fred said rubbing his ears. What Diana didn't notice was that beside Fred, behind the curtain, was a very jealous looking George.

"Who was that guy you were yelling at?" Sirius asked quietly

"Oh, a guy I know… His name is Fred. His twin is George." Replied Diana

"Ooh."

Now at Madame Puddifoot's coffee house. Sirius ordered a Mocha Coffee and Diana was thinking about getting one.

"Sirius, I don't think I'm supposed to be here."

"I snuck you out. They can't punish you for my deeds can they?"

"Uh, YEAH! And I don't think I should get a coffee. I don't care for coffee much."

"Sorry, but it's mocha!"

"It smells weird, I'm gonna get a butterbeer." Said Diana, then she looked over at the window, noticing a freckled face against the winter window with red hair, then she looked away, then back at the window and the face was gone.

_I swear I'm imagining Fred or George… ignore it and enjoy your date… Don't think about it. Don't think about it…_

"Excuse me Sirius, I have some business to attend to outside." Said Diana getting away from the table.

"Fine. Take your time." Sirius replied leaning back on his chair so he was on 2 legs.

Outside, Diana finds George or Fred up against the window spying in on her date.

"I can't see her anymore!" Said one of the twins before realizing that Diana was beside him.

"I can't believe you would sink this low Fred!" Diana practically yelled

"It's George… I mean Yes! I am Fred! The complete and utter idiot Fred! Yess. That Fred. Fred."

"Stop rambling George. WHY! That is all I want to know."

"Come out Fred. She found us." Said George

"Yes, bring me into this lovers quarrel! I'm just the completely innocent idiot Fred… HE MADE ME!" Yelled Fred from in an alleyway, refusing to come out.

"Go away! I don't mind you being here, but don't spy on me, or you will be as toothless as Lockhart. I'm gonna go, and sorry George, I'm off the market for the ball." Then Diana left, leaving the twins to be alone and go away.

Shut up Fred 

_Did I say anything? _

_No but you are going to_

_Can I?_

_No_

_You got rejected_

_I don't like this Sirius guy_

_If it wasn't for this Sirius Guy, you would be Lockhart._

_SO, I would go for being Lockhart if I could get Diana back_

_Ooooh! What did that kiss do to you?_

_There was a spark…_

…

…

…

…

…

_Why am I confessing this to you?_

_George, I think you think I'm just your conscience_

_Well are you?_

_No, I'm Fred _

_Nooo!_

_Hahaha! I have Dirt_

_Shaddup! You have no proof_

_Aww nuts, we are talking in our heads again aren't we?_

_Yes._

_Awwww_

_Why aren't you ever serious? _

_You want me to be serious? Ok. George, but Sirius is serious._

_Thanks a lot._

_You don't have a chance. Wanna know why?_

_No_

_Too bad. Face it. Even if Sirius wasn't here you still wouldn't have a chance. You act like her big brother._

_So. What's wrong with that?_

_You are officially a "Friend" and maybe a "loserish stalker"_

_Awww poop._

_Let's stop facially harassing the sky now_

_I'm facially harassing the girl in front of me_

_Well stop! She's Hot!_

_So?_

_Ask her to the ball. Make Diana jealous_

_It won't work._

_Too bad_

_WHERE ARE YOU GOING?_

"Hi! I'm George Weasly. Will you go to the ball with me?" Said Fred to the back of the girl "Sure" she said turning around "AHH! ANGELINA!" Fred screamed "Fred? I thought you were George" Said Angelina 

"No… it's me! Will you go with me?"

"Sure!"

Ha! Ha ha! "I" asked out your girlfriend. Started George 

_She likes me better_

Really? Why did she say yes to George then?

_Cuz she knew that I was Fred in the first place_

_Whatever. I'm gonna check in on Diana_

_NOOOOOO! Big brother… Stalker… Stalker big brother_

_Fine I won't_

_So you don't care about Diana?_

_STOP IT!_

_I have an idea_

_Oh no._

Ask a girl out, take her to Madame Puddifoot's 

_What would that do?_

_Make Diana jealous. If it helps, I'll take Angelina too!_

_You just want to snog Angelina_

_Yeah, your point is? I put up mistletoe in the doorway for me._

_WHAT! DIANA WILL HAVE TO KISS SIRIUS THEN! _

_So?_

_NOOOOOOOOO! GOTTA GET TO THE COFFEE SHOP!_

_Big Brother. She could get caught_

_I don't care._

_George._

…

_George?_

…

_DON'T IGNORE ME!_

…

_FINE THEN_

**Meanwhile.**

"Sorry Sirius… Why are you and your chair on the floor?" Asked Diana

"Ummm, I fell…. For you?"

"Aww… let's go before we get caught"

Just as they were walking out the door

"Diana…" Sirius said stopping in the doorway

"Yes?"

"We are kinda… Standing… Under… Mistletoe"

"Oh… I guess we have to… too bad I don't kiss on first dates"

"How about we save until we are back at the common room then?"

"How about the dance"

"Can't wait that long fo……"

Suddenly, they were tackled into a snow bank where Diana got a glimpse of the "assassin".

"GEORGE! GET OUT HERE NOW" Diana commanded

"Yes mother" Said Fred

"Fred, where is George."

"I am George."

"You're talking. I can tell the difference. 5. 4. 3. 2."

"GEORGE GET OUT HERE OR YOU WILL HAVE NO BROTHER!"

Silence. Not a creature stirred. Not even the rat, which was George.

"Come on Sirius. Let's just leave these peeping twins to mellow out. Let's go back to the common room."

**To be continued**

**A/n sorry didn't post sooner, but Spidey's interent wasn't working! Till now. We had this ready for 4 days! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?!! Anywho… Please review. We will update as soon as the next chapter for "MAKE A WISH" is ready.**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL US IF YOU WANT SIRIUS TO STAY FOR THE BALL! And we know that we are straying off the storyline, but they have to keep a LOW PROFILE! **

**WT&S OUT.**

**Mossnose…REVIEW! ESPECIALLY YOU!**


	13. Run Fred Run

_Disclaimer: nothing We own Diana but.__Unscramble the puzzle._

**Continued from Day 6 continued**

**Day 6**

Still 

"Come on Sirius. Let's just leave these peeping twins to mellow out. Let's go back to the common room." Said Diana as her and Sirius left

"Ok" said Sirius mouthing sorry to Fred with an apologetic look on his face

_George…_

_Don't say it_

_No, I'm not gonna be cocky._

_So_

_Sirius seems really nice. Give him a chance._

_He's gonna get Diana into trouble!_

_Well at least Diana is Happy. Isn't that what you want? _

_Yes… but I want her to be happy with me._

_Selfish Git._

_Hey!_

…

_Fred_

…

_Fine. I like Sirius_

_YAY! _

_I thought you said you weren't going to be cocky_

_Oh yeah… Oops. _

_Sirius is going to get her into trouble_

_LALALALALALALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU!_

_We aren't talking_

_Fine… LALALALALA CAN'T MINDREAD YOU_

_Fine. _

_Are you mad at me?_

_Humph._

_You can't resist the face_

_Fred, it's my face too y'know. _

_Technicalities _

_I'm gonna follow them_

_STALKER!!!! Stalkers don't get dates with the stalkees_

_That's not a word_

_LALALALALALALALALALA_

_Byeee_

_Nooo!_

"George! Don't!" Yelled Fred 

"Too late." George replied

In background: Unconditional by Kalan Porter starts playing

_Love is strong, love is warm, love is unconditional, love is always, in your heart so let it be…_

**S: HOLD UP! TOO SAPPY!**

WT: Good idea! 

**Hilary Duff "The math" plays**

**WT: I hate you!!!**

_If you can't do the math get out of the equation, I am calling you back… is it a minus or a plus, isn't nothing good enough, if you can't do the math, then nothing adds up, tell me why I'm here!_

"GEORGE! SNAP OUT OF THE SELF-PITY SONGS! IT'S ONLY THE FIRST DATE! MAYBE IT WON'T WORK OUT!" Said Fred shaking his brother

_I hope. _Mind talked George

_You gonna stop stalking her? _

_Maybe… but if Sirius gets her into trouble…_

_Kill him all you want_

_I'll act nice to him. FOR Diana. Can I really kill him?_

_No._

Meanwhile 

**On the way to the common rooms**

"Sorry for a crazy first date" Said Diana apologetically "Its ok! What is life without a little spice…Like…" Sirius started 

"Like falling out of your chair…"

"I told you that I only fell for you!"

"Not because you were sitting back on 2 legs?"

"Right! Uh oh… Mistletoe"

"More Mistletoe!"

"I think I might learn to like this school. As long as your friend doesn't try to kill me in my sleep."

"Yeah… he is a little…. Well... Nobody home upstairs if I'm correct. They're a little possessive."

"Only one. I think George."

"You can tell them apart?"

"Yeah. One looks at me like he doesn't care, and the other looks at me with a 'I'm gonna stab you in your sleep' look."

"Yep, that's George."

"So about the Mistletoe…"

"Only once. I will slap you if you try anything. I don't owe you for the coffee shop."

"I didn't expect more"

"Diana! I'm Sorr………………" Said George right when Diana and Sirius started the mistletoe kiss. For 1 second, he stood there and stared, then it was over.

"Oh! Hi George." Said Diana while Sirius gave him a look of "I'm sorry", "This is embarrassing" and "Please don't murder me in my sleep"

"Sirius, I'm sorry for being so mean." Said George

"This is Fred right. You don't have the look of 'I'm gonna murder you' in your eyes"

"Nope, that's George." Said Diana giving him a hug and whispering "Thank you" in his ear.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight" Said Diana

"Night" Said both boys.

"So… you're not going to kill me?"

"Today."

"Ooooh.. Come with me. We have more in common than you think." Said Sirius starting to walk out of the common room into the corridor.

"Where are we going?" asked George

"To have a little fun…This is Lockhart's room right?"

Sirius said

"Yes… why?"

"Cuz he is about to be messed around with…" Said Sirius opening up the wall

"You can't do that! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Switching the pipes. I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"Do you realize that me, Diana or Fred could get blamed for this!"

"Oh yeah…. Let me do something." Said Sirius. He just switched the pipes, hot to cold and cold to hot.

"You're going to get caught!"

"I know. That's the point. The little things are everything. That is all you need to know about pranking." Then Sirius took out his wand and signed his name on the pipes. _Sirius Black, Hahahahaha, SNAPE BECAME A TEACHER! HA!_

Then George noticed the map in his back pocket was illustrated.

"Huh? Uh oh! Snape! Headed this way!" George said, reading what the map said.

"Let's rock." Said Sirius running into an empty classroom 

"Something you said triggered the map! I have been trying to figure out the password for almost 4 years now. The Map reads: **Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP**. Hey.. Diana said you were Padfoot… SIRIUS! What is going on?"

"The Marauders are my gang, but I swear, I have never seen this map ever in my life… we must have made this after I came here… George… can you keep a secret."

"Yes, but let's figure out the map. What do you figure would have triggered the Map? Something that you said."

"The only thing that would have triggered it, knowing my gang, is 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' I think that is it…but to close it, it would be the opposite… I am no longer up to no good…no… Trouble managed…no… over my troublesome ways…Darn it!… Mischief controlled? No! Mischief managed!"

Then the ink on the map disappeared and it was just a blank piece of paper.

"I SOLOMNLY SWEAR I AM UP TO NO GOOD!" Yelled George

Then the ink appeared again.

"Wow, I don't think you need to yell…" said Sirius in awe

"Sirius… Snape…right at the doorway."

"Hold on to me and close your eyes…_LUMOS._" Sirius said turning into a dog, with George holding onto his tail and getting dragged as Sirius made a mad dash out the door

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" screamed Snape as he was blinded by the light and Sirius just couldn't resist saying in a misty/doggie (WT: I don't care if he's a dog he can talk!) voice:

"Walk toward the light slimy git! Ha!"

"That voice! It couldn't be Black!!!" yelled Snape

Once safe again in another classroom, both boys consulted the map, then George finally spoke up.

"Thank God for that map… So… what did you want me to keep a secret?" Asked George

"I'm not… from here…"

"Duhh!"

"I mean…like from this time…"

"You're from the FUTURE!"

"Nononono! The past. Me and coocoo boy both are."

"Oh Bloody, don't tell me you are Sirius Black…"

"What if I am?"

"Well I can't tell you that, because then you could ruin the future."

"Ok! I'm not Sirius Black… I'm Sirius…Padfoot!"

"And you're an Animagus… You know that's illegal right?"

"Who are you, Lily's son?"

"Nah, Molly and Arthur Weasly."

"Ooh, they aren't going out yet… hahahah… I know who's hooking up this year…or next…Anywho…You must SWEAR not to tell Diana."

"Swear… I saw you fiddling around with the pipes after you switched them… What did you do?"

"Signed my name and added everlasting purple dye to the cold water, and wrote Snape a special note."

"Dude, no wonder your name is on the map. You are a pranking Genius!"

"So are you, so I have heard. The grey hair thing…Genius. I am passing this map down to you. So you will never get caught if you can help it."

"I kinda already have it…" 

"Give it here… I am passing it on to you."

"Thanks…and a tip, don't hurt or get Diana into any trouble, or I will stab you in your sleep."

"Hmm… Deal!"

"Well, it's getting late, I'm off to bed."

"Night! Gotta go to the grounds."

"How come?"

"To be a lovable stray and see if the groundskeeper will take me in, and see how the school has changed. Night!"

"Oh… I'm sure there will be no problem there. Night."

Now in the common room, Fred contacts George telepathically.

Soooo 

_So what? _

_You were with Diana right?_

…_Yes_

_NO! Diana came back here! You were with Sirius!_

_So?_

_You guys made piece…umm pie… I mean PEACE! I'm so Proud!_

_Yeah, he is ok… I guess… he has a secret_

_Ooh! Ooh! Tell me! Tell me!_

_Nope. I told him I would keep it a secret…from…Diana_

_So you gonna tell me?_

_No!_

_I'm gonna read your mind!_

George's mind:

_Pieeeee. Umm…Diana…Ummm… _

_Sirius…Stabbie…Diana…_♥♥♥♥♥

_Ha! Can't even read my mind!_

_LALALALALALALALALALALA… Your mind is too twisted to read without becoming clinically insane._

_Going to bed. Night_

_Have nice dreams of Diana snogging Sirius and not you._

_Run Fred, run._

"DIANA! YOUR NOT BOYFRIEND IS GONNA KILL ME!"

**A/n: READ NEXT CHAPPIE! KEEP READING! REVIEW AND TELL US. More pranks/dares/blackmail on Lockhart…ANYTHING! JUST REVIEW!**

**WT-MOSSNOSE YOU HAVE BETTER REVIEW OR I WILL ANNOY YOU TILL YOU DO!**


	14. Come My Duckie Minions!

**A/N- New Cosmo is up!**

_We don't own anything you recognise. Except Diana. _

Day 7

Way!!! TOO!!! EARLY!!!

George had just awaken to a horrible conclusion to Sirius' prank with the purple dye so of course he alerted his twin.

"It's too early, Mom. 5 more hours." Fred said as George tried to wake him up.

"Fred… I'm George, remember?"

"6 more hours."

"Fred! Sirius' prank is going to make Lockhart scream…LOUDLY!"

"7 more hours."

"FINE! I'll go get Sirius then."

"I'm UP! I'm UP!"

"Good… errrr. Fred, put on some clothes. I'm sure not even Angelina would like your duckie boxers"

"Okay I'm in… So what's the plan?" Sirius asked George and Fred as they stood out by Hagrid's hut while Sirius turned from lovable stray to human.

"Don't ask me. I'm just the twin of the deranged twin who wants you dead cuz you stole his girlfriend."

"Okay then…" said Sirius, as he slowly backed away from George.

"Umm… I'm not sure… but if he sees the dye he will know it is a prank…" replied George.

"Isn't that the point?" Fred asked.

"Yeah… But he will scream."

"So?" Sirius asked.

"Well… McGonagall told us to keep it quiet."

"So?"

"We need to make sure that Lockhart doesn't scream."

"So?" Fred and Sirius said.

"Can I go back to bed as I wasn't even here when you two put dye in the pipes? It's cold and I'm only wearing a robe." asked Fred innocently

"I thought I told you to put some clothes on…"

"And I listened… I put on a robe didn't I?"

"That good thing about being an Animagus, you have a fur coat whenever you need it. And you can look really cute. It attracts the chicks!" said Sirius

"Besides everyone loves the duckies!" Fred bursted out

"Except the duckies." Sirius pointed out.

"Why don't the duckies like the duckies." Asked George

"Cuz the duckies are killed to make the duckies." Said Sirius

"But the duckies should be honoured" Fred Bursted out

"W'ever." Said Sirius

"…"

"…"

"What were we talking about? Oh yeah. The plan. I have an idea…" said George

"What is the plan?" asked Sirius

"I don't have one" said Fred

"I know that you don't have one, but maybe your brother does."

"No! Not George!"

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Umm! Guys!" said George quietly

"SHADDUP! My DUM DUM WANTS TO SPEAK." yelled another voice

"Huh?" all the boys said

"Well….. cough cough. Whoever that was, what were you going to say Dum dum?" said Fred

"I learned a trick at Camp…"

"We went to camp?"

"Duckie camp Fred. Duckie camp. Ok, go to the girls' dorm and find a hair spray bottle. Bring it here and I will explain more. We are just going to lock Lockhart out… tell Diana that somehow and tell her to spread the word." Said George

Both Sirius and Fred looked at George

"Who were you talking to?" asked Fred

"I was talking to Sirius, Dum dum who likes gum gum"

"Who?"

"The duckies Fred. The duckies."

"Ok…. I'll go get the hair spray. Go talk telepathically or something."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" yelled both twins

"I was kidding! Bloody!" said Sirius, turning into a super-cute dog

After Sirius left, the twins started facially harassing the sky, aka, talking telepathically.

_So you trust Sirius?_

_No!_

_Then you trust him enough to let him go into the girls' dorm?_

_Uh…_

_And see Diana who is sleeping?_

_MAH!_

_In her Almost see through Jammies?_

_MA HA! NEEEEEE!_

…

…

…

…

_Do you realize that we never TALK anymore?_

_Yeah… Weird…Can we play games in our head?_

_Let's try!_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors_

_Scissors _

_Scissors_

Scissors 

_STOP PICKING SCISSORS!_

_WHY DON'T YOU!_

_CUZ SCISSORS IS MY THING!_

_FINE!_

_Scissors_

_Rock_

_Scissors_

_Rock_

_Scissors_

_Rock_

_Scissors_

_Rock_

_Scissors_

_Rock_

STOP PICKING ROCK! 

_I bet Diana is an angel when she sleeps_

_I'm gonna kill you!_

_Over the rock?_

_Run Fred Run!_

_Who is this Fred you think of? I am Dum Dum who likes Gum Gum._

_And these are my duckie minions!_

* * *

Sirius muttered the password that he had gotten from Fred and headed upstairs. Now he was in the Girls' dorm, as a dog. He figured that if he got caught, the girls would just start petting him, or in Hermy's case, start hitting him with a pillow.

He walked into the room looking for hairspray, noticing his girlfriend sleeping. He decided that she would be the least mad if he borrowed her hairspray, since it was to prank Lockhart. He looked around and found a bottle, then a quill and a piece of paper and turned human.

_Dear Diana,_

_I am borrowing your hairspray, but I am pranking Lockhart, so I thought that you wouldn't mind. I didn't want to wake you up because you look like an angel in your sleep. Oops. ;-). I am writing this note to tell you about the hair spray borrowedge, and to say:_

_Good morning sunshine! Meet me in the Great hall for Breakfast if:_

_We survive pranking Lockhart_

_If we Don't get caught for pranking Lockhart_

… _I'll think of a good reason later._

_See yah!_

_-Sirius_

_PS. Wear earplugs and DON'T open the front doors, no matter how much screaming goes on! Spread the word_

_PPS. I am aware that borrowedge isn't a word, but meh._

_PPPS. And that Meh isn't a word either!_

_PPPPS. Fred, George and I are pranking Lockhart. If you read this tonight, you can come join us!_

After placing the letter beside her head in bed, and turning into a dog, hairspray in mouth, he left the dorm room and headed out to where Fred and George were, heads up, staring at the ceiling, then Fred broke out running, with George on his heels. Sirius couldn't resist chasing them, but tripped them instead, landing quite literally on the bottom of a dog pile.

"GETOFFME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled George

"YOU GETOFFME!" yelled Fred

"LADEEZ! Increase the peace." Yelled Sirius

"Ok, let me explain the prank!" said George after everyone got up

"Yay! A PRANK! I was getting pranking withdrawl, and so were my duckies. Weren't you my duckies… GEORGE! My DUCKIES ARE FLYING AWAY!" yelled Fred

"Oy… Fred, kids grow up so fast. You have to let them fly away!" said George

"George, you need to get your brother out more often." Said Sirius.

"So what's the prank?" asked Fred

"Well, first we have to…" said George


	15. Pranking withdrawl

_Disclaimer- as soon as infinity people actually review, we will actually own HP or FOP. That is never going to happen. _

**Day 7**

**Plan Duckie cracks open**

**Now 5:30 AM**

After George had explained the plan, and neither Fred nor Sirius listened, meaning that he had to give them each the simple jobs, they snuck into the school. They were walking down the 2nd floor when they saw it… The face of evil. The face of…

"Bloody it's Snape!" Said Fred

"What are we going to do?" responded Sirius

Both the twins looked at the dog between them and said in unison:

"You're cute, you're fluffy, you'll do!" and pushed him out to face Snape while they hid.

"Arf?" said Sirius, half-whimpering.

Snape looked at the puppy, looked around him 3 times, walked up to the dog, and did the unthinkable. He petted the dog. He looked around some more, and while talking in a soft gooey voice and doing the whole belly rub thing. It took all of Sirius' willpower not to laugh. Snape then walked off like the whole thing never happened.

Sirius waited until Snape was out of earshot before turning human and laughing like a maniac. When he was all done laughing he went back to the twins, who also were laughing.

"Snape! A dog Lover! HA!" yelled Fred

"SHADDUP!" yelled the same voice as from before.

"That can't be Em! Cosmo didn't bring her!" said Sirius

"Who's Em?" asked George, looking very suspicious.

"Just some girl who turned me down…" Sirius counted a lot of fingers, "Twice."

"Oh, but that sounded like Diana."

"But that sounded like EM!"

"Diana!"

"Fine! I'm not going to argue!"

"SHADDUP!" yelled the voice again.

At the stalkerish voice, they all shut up and ran to Lockhart's room.

Fred went into Lockhart's room and sprayed the hairspray all on the tiles of Lockhart's floor, except for a pathway leading to the door. Sirius had a muggle match and gave it to George. George made a contraption to light it when they wanted to light the room. George had explained how the fire wouldn't spread, and only burn the hairspray. It was all set. They just needed to wait until Lockhart got into the shower. While waiting, they stood in the hall, all coiled up, ready to spring.

"This is so tense! Anything could happen! A Prefect could walk by! A teacher… anything…" Sirius started to go on, until a hand reached over and tapped his shoulder.

He jumped, Screamed, and went into the weird Ti-Qwan-Doh position, which was basically standing on one leg with both hands in the ready position above his head. Fred had leapt into George's arms all Shaggy and Scooby style. George just stood there and dropped Fred. Diana Grabbed Sirius' hands and twirled.

"Hi scaredy cat." She commented

"W'ever! I wasn't afraid… I …was… falling! Into… your… eyes?"

"Good try sweetheart. Not gonna work again considering that you didn't fall. Fred was the one who fell… well technically he was dropped, but… you get the point."

"When did you become smart?" asked Fred

"When did you become Scooby?" Replied Diana

"Since… I've got nothing."

"Exactly! That's why you let me do the planning… Or George… at least he had a brain that is bigger that a rodents!"

"I think I resent that… do I resent that?" said Fred looking at George, who was still looking in the door for Lockhart.

"He's awake... Now we just have to wait until he is about midway through his shower. Hang on. Di, how did you know to meet us?" George whispered.

"Oh…Sirius didn't tell you? He sent this cute little doggie… I would have done something, like go and pet it… but Hermy would have creamed it with a pillow so I went back to sleep. A few minutes later I woke up to a note beside me, and I figured that once I got dressed, you guys would be here. Speaking of clothes… why aren't you wearing any?" Diana said, pointing to Fred and giving the letter from Sirius to George.

"I AM TOO WEARING CLOTHES! DUCKIE MINIONS! ATTACK!" cried Fred

George then knocked out his twin as he was being too loud as Diana gave Sirius a puzzling look.

"Pranking withdrawal."

"Oooh."

40 Minutes later "I'm bored." Declared Fred 

"Dude takes long showers." Said George

"How vain can you get! That dye will be in there real deep." Said Sirius

"DYE! Ooh… this just got juicy." Said Diana

"Let's play truth or dare……" said Fred

"Yeah! Good idea" Sirius said

"Ooh… George and Diana still have to do their dare from last time." Said Fred

Diana paled at this and this time, George did faint.

"Haha! You thought that I forgot, but a monkey never forgets… or something like that." Said Fred in triumph

"Fred, technically I did that dare right before I first met Sirius." Replied Diana

"What dare?" asked Sirius

"I was supposed to snog George… properly"

"Well… technically you snogged Lockhar…. I'll shut up now" said George, finally waking up.

"I think he is getting out!" said Diana glaring at George, who was obviously wanting a snog.

"Time to put plan Alpha into action."

"Plan Alpha. Fred, that is weak!"

"DUDE! Fine… Plan Duckie."

"That is even weaker! Why Duckie?"

"DUCKIE MINIONS, ATTACK!"

"Yeah… George, knock your brother out for me." Asked Diana motioning to George

"Sure!" George said eagerly, but in his head, he thought:

_For you Diana, anything!_

_STALKER!_

_Grrr. I'm gonna enjoy this_

George walked up to his brother, about to land a blow, when they heard the water stop.

"Don't give him time to think about it! Light it! LIGHT IT!" yelled Sirius.

Diana lit the match and the hairspray burned a beautiful light blue flame. Then, they all made a run for the main entrance door, except for Sirius who ran into the path and yelled:

"FIRE!!!!!!! RUN!" just loud enough for Lockhart to hear. Sirius was startled to find that Lockhart hadn't even bothered to get dressed, and was only in a towel. Sirius, still a dog, guided Lockhart to the main door so Lockhart, of course, ran out, and then George shut the door, making sure that Sirius was inside. Sirius started cheering until he noticed the twins motioning like a dog. Sirius then realized that he was still a dog. Then, he noticed Diana standing beside him. Hoping she didn't suspect anything, he ran off to transform back into a human.

"Man that was fun!" said Sirius, after transforming and joining the group again.

"Sirius, is that your dog?" asked Diana

Everyone, except Diana, tensed up, waiting for Sirius' reply

"Yea… I found him on the grounds. What do you think?"

"He is soo cute. He has your eyes"

Sirius stiffened up even more than he was.

"Why do you say that?" he asked

"Just kidding with you. Sheesh. The way you reacted makes me think you are hiding something."

"No I…" Right there, there was a banging on the door. Lockhart finally realized that the door was locked and the school was not burning.

"Whooo is it??" asked Sirius

"It is me! Gilderoy Lockhart! It's cold out here!"

"Don't come in! I'm in the tub!"

"Oh… OH MY! I'M TURNING PURPLE! COVER YOURSELF AND LET ME COME IN!"

"But there are no towels in here!"

"I don't care! Open up the door!"

"You peeping pervert. These doors are staying locked!"

"NO!"

They all decided to go back to bed until 10:00 right after the boys took the Flint polyjuice potion to tell the Slytherin prefects that someone was outside impersonating Lockhart and not to let him in.

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ- Fred/George

Honk SHOO, HONK Shoo- Sirius as a doggie.

-inhale- -exhale- -inhale- -Diana

**A/N- Seriously messed up chappie… BUT SO COOL! No more chaps until we get some reviews!**


	16. Please read this!

THIS STORY HAS BEEN POSTPONED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! WE'LL GET BACK TO IT EVENTUALLY! DON'T WORRY!

-S&WT


	17. New notice Sorry

**THIS STORY IS NOT ABANDONED! WE JUST CAN'T WRITE HARRY POTTER AT THE MOMENT! WT HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO PICK UP ANY OF THE BOOKS SINCE AFTER SHE FINISHED THE 7****TH**** BOOK! AND SPIDEY CAN'T WRITE THIS ON HER OWN!**

**For all those who still want continue to or are reading this story, Spidey meets Wizard-Theif is planning on redoing this story. This story will remain up until the new story is ready. When it is ready we will delete this story. The title may change, we aren't sure so if you want to be informed when the new story is up please review and say so. We will put your user name on a list or if you are an anonymous reader your name and email. We are only contacting the people who are on the list. And don't worry, we are making a list of our older reviews and will keep old prank ideas and still give the proper people credit. (WT-I haven't forgotten Pianolinist, the hanging prank will come) So please review and let us know. Thank you.**

**-S&WT OUT**


	18. Final notice, Gomen

**I regret to inform you all that this story has been discontinued. Both Spidey and I are unable to write anything for this story and do not readers to wait in vain for chapters that will not come. Because of this, we are discontinuing the story.**

**However, we are willing to hand the keyboard over to another author to continue the story. We would give said author all the data we have (including the partially redone chapters) and let them write the story as they see fit. So if you wish to be this author please contact us.**

**We do not want to see this story go but are unable to write it anymore. So please tell us if you want to continue this. Thank you for the support and reviews. Maybe one day we will return to the Harry Potter section but at this current time we must say goodbye.**

**-WT**


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